Well here it goes.  We had a failed IVF cycle in March.  I was so excited about my weight loss and then I GAIN a ton of weight in the aftermath.  I'd like to blame it on the hormones (it seems everyone else does) but I know that isn't the whole story.  I went in yesterday for a follow up Sonohysterogram.  It was PAINFUL, but some of my previous problems have been resolved.  YAY!

I've picked up a job.  Actually it fell in my lap, and I'm so grateful.  I think it will be a wonderful fit.

We're traveling this summer.  Plus I'm trying to convince J he wants to go camping with me.  Maybe I should just plan a long weekend and surprise him...

We are going to be a one car family for the first time ever.  It's weird to say that out loud.  We've been so blessed to have 2 cars.  And really, we are so blessed to own both outright.  It allows us the freedom to make this choice.

And choices are everything.

fertility: I Swim For Better Days

"I swim for better days, Despite the absence of sun

Chocking on salt water, I'm not giving in

I swim"

"Just find the horizon

I promise it's not as far as you think."

Weight Loss

It's been slow.  I plateaued in January.  I also gave myself some time to grieve our canceled IVF.  BUT I am at a total weight loss of 19 lbs! Yay!  I am straddling the BMI overweight/obese line and I am so excited to leave the obese range forever!

fertility: Ovarian Resistance

Our January IVF was canceled on day 9 and I was diagnosed with Ovarian Resistance.  Ovarian Resistance has been known as Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) and Early Menopause. 


"Premature ovarian failure occurs when your ovaries-which store and release eggs-stop working before age 40. You may have no or few eggs. " Web MD I have few eggs.


How common is this?  Web MD says 1-4% American women are diagnosed with POF.

Is there anything we can do?  No, there is no cure or treatment. 10% of Women with POF will conceive naturally once after their body goes into POF.  

We are hoping to do one more cycle of traditional IVF.  Then we are hoping to adopt. 

I'm sure the Lord has a plan for us.  We are trying to listen for what that is.  This is something so completely out of our control.  There isn't much we can do except "Let It Be."

food: Fruit Filled Cookies

Let's be honest, I'm writing this post because I couldn't pin these cookies from their original location to Pinterest (no picture). And yes they are just that good!  A bakery I worked for made raisin filled cookies.  They were perfect.  Crisp flaky cookie crust with yummy spiced raisin insides.  I've been craving these raisin filled cookies.  

Last Sunday I made Million Dollar Cookies (which weren't that good) AND they sent me into a downward carb spiral.  No GOOD!  This week I made this: 

SUGAR Free, Fruit Filled Cookies.  YUM!  

Recipe adapted from here

PASTRY:

1C flour
1/2 C Crisco shortening
1/4 C sour cream
4 oz. cream cheese
1/8 TSP salt

1/4 TSP Agave Syrup (optional)

Zest of 1 lemon

FILLING:

8 oz. dried fruit (we did cherries but apricots and raisins would be really good too!) 
1/3 c. water

Filling: Cook fruit over low heat in water until thick. Let cool. While you prepare the cookie dough.

Blend cream cheese, sour cream, shortening and agave syrup. Add flour and salt; mix well. Blend in lemon zest.  Set in refrigerator until firm (30 minutes). Roll out the dough. Use a circle cookie cuter to cut out 80 circles (I know it's a lot). Line the pan with parchment and lay out 20 cookies.  Place a small dollop of filling in the center of each cookie (like 2 cherries small). Place another cookie on top.  Seal the two cookies together with fork along the outside.  Pierce the center of each cookie to let steam escape during cooking.   Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes or until top is brown.

Yield: 40 cookies

IVF Canceled

Our IVF cycle was canceled on day 9.  My overies just don't respond to the drugs and my eggs weren't maturing.

Weight Loss

I started exercising and eating better (less carbs more veggies) the END of September.  So far I've lost 15 lbs.  That is 7% of my body weight.  YAY!  Today I weight 5 lbs less then I did this time last year.  (yes that means I gained 10 lbs last year).  I haven't been perfect, November and December weren't great dieting months.  Even still I have had steady loss of 1 pound a week!!!!