foster: Twins Update

We are so excited to watch the girls Monday and Wednesday night for just a few hours. We think they are just dolls. Iron Man and Angel look forward to their visit and we are all sad when they have to go. They are super busy and so grown up as they reach 1 year this week. Can you believe it?!

I sincerely wish their parents the best. When they are struggling, like they are now, it's hard for me to watch. We love our little S and A!

foster: Update

Hhmmm. where to start. Sleeping Beauty went back to her parent while we were on vacation the end of October. Iron Man (13) and Angel (5) came to stay with us for the weekend before we left on vacation. They're still here and they'll be with us through Christmas, but recent developments makes me think they will be with us longer than that.

project: Curtains

I found a fabulous deal on fabric so I revamped the "nursery" curtains.

Before:

After:

Simple rod pocket curtains that say GIRL! I don't mind switching them out if our next placement is a boy. Check out the cost breakdown.

Cost Breakdown
Fabric $12

foster: Money Breakdown

I mentioned in my last post that we spend more than we get to have foster children in our home. As foster parents in Utah we just got a pay cut to $14 a day for children under 12. That's about $420 a month. We do not have to pay for the child's health care, and are reimbursed for millage to and from case activity, and yes if the child meets age requirements we can sign up for WIC. Here's how the money breaks down in our home:

$90 For regular food in our house ($3/person/day including fruit/veggies/milk/WHOLE grain, of which we get the recommended amount for daily. NO malnourishment here thanks to home canning and food storage!) This, btw, is less then families receiving food stamps get per person/month. Many foster families are probably spending double on groceries and not eating rice and beans several times each month.
$30Extra for goldfish, juice, fruit leather ect.
$42 Mandatory spending on new clothes
$60 Diapers
$15 Wipes
$20 Toys
$50 Baby sitting, for dates, foster care training, court, family and team meetings

$307 Total

That leaves $113 to split between non case activity miles, entertainment, saving for birthday parties, Christmas, Easter baskets…. I know that the last few aren't necessary spending. BUT childhood is about going swimming, picking out pumpkins, and sledding in the snow. It's about waking up to an overflowing stocking on Christmas morning, hunting for Easter eggs, dressing up for Halloween, and having balloons and friends at your birthday party. Oh just for a minute, let's say we didn’t drive the child to anything other then visits and DR. appointments. Oh and we didn't do any of the other fun things associated with childhood, including Christmas presents, Halloween costumes or birthday parties. That means $113 is what the Giffords are getting "paid" to take care of someone elses child. Less then $4.00 a day. So, to those who complain that foster parents "do it for the money", here's the breakdown. What do you think? Is this what you expected, or are you surprised? How much will you pay someone to take care of your child when you go out with your handsome hubby or wonderful wife tonight?

Personally, I think the work foster parents do is pretty important. It's not about the money, or lack thereof. Right now it's about Sleeping Beauty, her health and well being. It's about her feeling safe and secure and stable. Someday I hope she can feel all of those things at home with her parents. But until then I'll provide her with every opportunity I can afford.

food: Beans and Rice

I know I haven't posted in a while. As I type my house smells like a Mexican Fiesta and I thought I'd share our penny pinching recipe.

As many of you know we are trying super hard to get out of debt so we can afford to have children sent to our family. We are putting every extra cent I can squeeze out of J's paycheck towards debt and we are soooo close! (In theory foster care should help with this but at the end of the day we spend her reimbursement check plus some of our surplus to have SB in the house.) Our food budget is about $3.00/person/day. This recipes costs about $1.50 for the WHOLE HUGE POT. That's mega nice for our budget.

1 lb of dried beans (we like pinto, black or red beans)
6 cups of water

The night before, usually after dinner while little ones are in the bath, I wash the beans and add them to a BIG pot with 6 cups of water. Soak overnight. Rinse the beans in the morning. While the beans are in the strainer add the following ingredients to the pot.

1 TBS olive oil
1 onion chopped
2-3 garlic cloves minced
2-3 stalks celery

Cook 3 to 4 minutes and add:

1 t salt
1/2 t garlic powder
3/4 t paprika
1/2 t black pepper
1/2 t onion powder
1 t Cayenne pepper
1/4 t oregano
1/4 t sage
1 t thyme
Red pepper flakes

Toast spices and then add the beans back to the pot with 6 cups of water. Simmer 2 1/2 hours. Drain off some of the liquid. Add finally chopped spinach to the beans and let wilt and become almost invisible (Always trying to bump up the nutrition.)

Night one:
Brown rice and beans with a little hot sauce and vinegar

Night Two:
Rice and bean burritos with lots of cheese and salsa

10 Lunches:
Rice and Bean burritos with lots of cheese, frozen and wrapped individually for quick grab and go.

We make this recipe at least 2x a month YUM!

foster: Update

Where to start? Cinderella left Monday, August 30th. Sleeping Beauty came Tuesday, August 31st, and has been with us for 2 weeks. They have one more kinship option to explore this week. She looks like I did as a child and except for her pale eyes could easily fit into my sisters' families. She's excitable, super friendly, and anything but shy (the exact opposite of me as a child). Sleeping Beauty turned 2 this summer and is so smart. Really she's a little Parrot that just talks and talks and talks and NEVER takes a break.

project: Stripes

Well, Cinderella will probably be leaving this week. She's a timid little girl and keeps to herself. BUT when the rare thing gets her excited she SQUEALS and flashes a full smile.

I finished the stripes just hours before Cinderella came.

Before

During
After

Cost break down:

$4 for frog tape.
Laser Level- We had hiding in the basement
Paint- left over SW paint pot from some random project

Total: $4

foster: New Placement

I was expecting 6 children and got 1 child yesterday. I've never done 1 before. Little girl, we'll call her Cinderella, is 18 months, and came with some creepy crawlies. We had a rough night tackling head lice. I don't think she likes me for taking away all her stuff to wash and smearing stinky stuff on her head. Poor girl. I'll make it up to her today.

Project: Stripes?

I'm thinking about adding some stripes to my house. Specifically horizontal stripes to one wall in my front room. Maybe some down the hallway too. Here's some inspiration.

Young House Love

Coastal Living


Sarah Richardson


Sarah Richardson

What do you think?

project: SO MANY PROJECTS

We got a call late yesterday afternoon that sent us scrabbling. 6 kids were coming into care at 10:00 this morning and they needed somewhere to land. I spent the remainder of the afternoon and evening calling for bunk beds, calling for benches (so we could squeeze 8 around our 4 person table), making grocery lists, worrying about car arrangements, and so on. Today, after their court hearing, the Judge gave the parents 3 more weeks to work on things WITHOUT taking the kids into custody.

Big exhale....

3 weeks to iron out the details of our lives before the possibility comes up again. This call brought to the forefront all of the projects I've been ignoring while we get out of debt. Parts of our house are a disaster. BIG. EMBARRASSING. DISASTERS. Things that could not be ignored if our house swelled to 8. Things like: the broken dishwasher, the leaking pipe under the sink in the basement bathroom, the missing tiles in the up stairs bathroom, the BACKYARD JUNGLE, and the list goes on and on and on. So my question is, can I tackle any of these with a couple of twenties? Any resources about plumbing, replacing sub floors, drywalling, tiling, etc that you have found helpful? Things I, E, can do myself - cause, let's face it, J is way too busy to help me figure these things out. AND projects that take no more then $50. Is this POSSIBLE?

project: Free Table

I found this table for FREE in the online classifieds. HURRAY!


A quick coat of red spay paint and it's sittin' pretty in my kitchen.

project: Bed Makeover

J found this headboard and foot board on KSL this winter. We had the girls with us and they were MAD when we went to look at it. After a QUICK look we decided to go for it and handed over our $20. You can't tell in our bad cell phone photos but it was pretty beat up. Here's the transformation

Primer

Krylon Bauhaus Gold. With black glaze. This was not pretty and not our style. WAY too orange.

Rustoleum Strawflower nice soft buttery yellow.

foster: Update

We are so lucky to be able to have continued contact with all 3 placements. We saw the twins a few weeks ago and they look so good, and BIG. For 6 1/2 month olds the are huge! I thought that they would be so different, but they're still "my girls". I was so happy to see S starting to push herself backwards. I really worried that the girls wouldn't get tummy time or the attention they needed because Mom C was trying to do so much by herself. To see S reach a developmental milestone gave me peace of mind that Mom and Dad can do this! Their permanency hearing is at the beginning of August.

Little Boy and Little Girl's permanency hearing has been pushed back. They are so attached to their foster parents and it's so good to see, especially Little Girl who was so resistant in our home. I hope the judge lets them stay where they are!

I'm sad we don't have a placement this summer. Last summer we were so busy with G and Lil G, and I really miss it. We are still waiting for the right call. This is the longest we've gone without a placement. We've received 2 calls from the adoption committee but neither were right for our family. It did cause a little crisis of faith in my abilities. I couldn't let go of the feeling of selfishness.

After our experience with Little Boy and Little Girl, I discovered how important it is for me to follow my instincts. I had to convince myself to take Little Boy and Little Girl and we eventually had them moved. I won't do that again. When I receive calls for children who have been severely abused, I know my capacity and skills will not be enough. When I say no, I instantly feel guilty. If I can't help abused children why am I doing foster care? Really, I don't know. I have to believe that there are more situations like G and Lil G or the twins where my capacity and skills can help, both the children and the parents. I do know that I love foster care. I love the children who have been in my home and I love the parents they have gone back to. I hope that I will have the opportunity to do it again. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

project: Bedroom

Well, I promised I wouldn't share any more bad cell phone pictures, but our good friend Anna couldn't wait. So here's our new, to us, bedroom.

I painted the walls Puritan Gray by Benjamin Moore, and our $20 headboard and foot board Strawflower by Rustoleum. I also hung our revamped nightstands above the bed for storage.

I found a chandelier perusing the free section of the classifieds and painted it black. Along with some $12 shades from JC Penny it works nicely above our bed. I LOVE our black and white "black out" curtains. They were a must have with the twins!

(I THINK the weird shadows on the walls are coming from the chandelier)

Last spring I painted our dresser black. I pulled the chair from the basement. Although, I'm thinking I may try to finish this one and put it up here instead. Unfortunately we couldn't squeeze a new TV into the budget, so we mounted a computer monitor and use a laptop to watch movies.

We're not done. I need to cover the cords, touch up paint, and find some fun art for the walls. Our room is small and cozy but for less then $100 I'm pretty happy with it.

foster: Responsible

I've subscribed to the blog Mama's On Call, and it's AWESOME! Loved the article "What Exactly IS A 'Responsible Parent" by Ellen Schrier. From it I gained this great guideline, "To be responsible means to respond appropriately." Here are some scenarios from her article.

What if … your 3-year-old has gotten hold of the pinking shears and is attempting to give her baby brother a hair cut? Should you let her? If you consider it for even a second you’ll realize that in order to respond appropriately you must say no and take away the sharp scissors before anyone gets hurt. She is unaware of the danger (or her limitations) and it’s your job to keep everyone safe.

What if … your eight-year-old is never hungry at dinner time because he likes to snack from the fridge throughout the day? It started years ago and has now become a habit. He seems to be growing okay and you hate to argue with him. Are you being responsible in letting the unsupervised grazing continue at the expense of eating a meal at the table with the family?

Well, just think: Is it part of your job as parent to make sure he gets his nutritional needs met? Yes, of course. Is it part of your job to teach him social skills and customs? Yes, again. So given your job description, what would the appropriate response be? It’s pretty obvious that you have to figure out a way to break the bad habit that has been established, right? That would be the responsible (appropriate, given your role as parent) thing to do.

What if … your seventh grader tells you that his science project is due tomorrow? He needs to get all the supplies and the project will take several hours to complete. He was given the assignment a couple weeks ago but ignored it. Now he is begging for your help. You know that his grade in science is hinging on whether he does well on this project. Should you cancel your own plans, roll up your sleeves, and get busy?

Well, consider for a moment — is it your job as parent to do your child’s work for him in order to keep moving things along or is it your job to help him learn about planning, making choices, managing his time and facing consequences even when they hurt? Once you make that determination you can figure out what kind of a response would be appropriate (and responsible), given your role.


Helpful right? This logic provides a formula I can use when working with Bio-Parents.

1. What is my role/job?
2. Based on my role/job what is the appropriate response.

The more I understand my role, the better I can respond in uncomfortable, even heated, situations.

This one liner is going in my repertoire.

To be responsible means to respond appropriately.

Tatertots and Jello Giveaway

I'm obsessed with Silhouettes. It was the first craft cutter I ever used and I instantly fell in LOVE! Unfortunately the $300 price tag has failed to fit into our budget and I continue to wait and want. Well, Tatertots and Jello is giving away a Silhouette. Go check it out and enter for your chance to win. You're going to LOVE the machine. Don't wait-GO!

project: Empty Space Utilized

My house does not lend itself to a mud room and I have grieved that loss the 4 years we've lived here. I told my friend Wednesday that I wanted to put some hooks behind my front door to hang my crap stuff. Stuff like a purse, maybe a cute coat or two, or a church bag. The kids rooms have hooks for those things already, so this would be just for me. I've seen board and batten done here and knew I wanted to use that. Check out these other cute ladies who had the same thought process.

Frugal Home Design

Recaptured Charm

Both used a small space of wall between doors to make a mudroom type space. I'm in LOVE!

Knowing what to do I started right away. I used graph paper printed from here to sketch my ideas and triple check my math.

Then we headed off to Home Depot. I found my wood (Primed MDF) and pushed the button for the guy to come make 8 cuts for me. While I'm waiting, what to my wondering eye should appear? THE CUT DISCARD PILE! A few seconds of searching and I found pieces that could be used for my vertical strips. COST $.50 for all my vertical pieces, TOTAL! I'm walking out of there spending only $6.00 ($5.50 of that for my horizontal pieces) and I'm soaring on my fabulous deal. I get home and PANIC! All of the sudden I worry that my vertical pieces are too BIG. But, hey, for $.50 I have to make it work, right?????

I primed and painted the wall and my pieces of discarded $.50 MDF.

I attached the MDF to the wall using liquid nails, a couple finishing nails and blue painters tape. I let that dry (or is the proper word cure?) for 24 hours.

(I know bad cell phone pictures, SORRY!)

Caulked ($2) and put on my final coat of paint Saturday.

I headed out for IKEA knowing they have the best price for wall hooks. The AS IS section had a grouping of 5 hooks for $2.99 TOTAL. Bringing my final bill for this project to $11

DID I MENTION LOVE!

project: Hard Water Stains

Ok so I have to tell you the best secret to window washing in Utah. We have hard water and my windows were all gunked up from the sprinklers hitting them. They were filmy and BAD. This spring I saw somewhere (maybe STUDIO 5?) to put jet dry, liquid dish soap and vinegar together in a squirt bottle and go at it. IT IS FABULOUS! I've used vinegar alone before but it never got the hard water stains off. This mixture is the BOMB. Plus, the jet dry works like it does in your dishwasher and the water just sheets off you windows. You want my version of the recipe? Here it is!

1 TBS liquid dish soap
4 TBS Vinegar
1 TSP Jet Dry or equivalent product
1 Liter of water

You may need to adjust the amounts to your needs.

Dump it all in a squirt bottle shake it up and start washing.

is it just me?

Is it just me, or does it take anyone else 6 months to write the correct date on your checks? Today I wrote 2010 without even thinking about it. First time all year. I'm so proud.

poject: MORE Inspiration

Well, my bedroom is mostly done. You wanna see it? I wanna show it to you. BUT J says I can't post cell phone pictures anymore, and I think he might be right. SOOOO until I can get a camera I'll just have to show you some more inspiration.

I didn't jump on the bird band wagon right away. Actually I didn't like the bird trend AT ALL, until the trend included bird cages. I've always loved bird cages. Now I want some cute little birdies for my bedroom with or without cages. I saw these in my Ballard Catalog. My favorite is the little baby birdie at the bottom. Isn't he soooo CUTE?!

Ballard $49 each

Ballard $119

foster: Did You Know?

Do you know about Eyes Open Wider? She's a social working blogger. LOVE it! I've been reading her on and off for about a year. Did you know she has links to lots of foster family blogs?

fun: Big Bubbles

(Pictures Published with Permission form Mom H)

Have you made Gigantic bubbles before?

Here's what you'll need:

• Plastic cup with a hole in the bottom (We just shoved our scissors through the bottom)
• 1/4 cup good dish soup
• 1 cup water
• 2 TBS corn syrup (optional)
• pie dish

Mix a little water with dish soap and corn syrup in a pie dish. Dip you cup into the mixture and BLOW

Check out this blog for HUMONGOUS bubbles.

Wanda Martin Wilson 1925-2010

This is my Grandmother. She died May 17th 2010. I was lucky enough to go home May 15th and be with my mother until Grandma's funeral on May 24. I've thought a lot about what I'd like to post. It's no secret that Grandma and I didn't get along very well. I always attributed it to us being so very much alike- stubborn. But ACTUALLY SPEAKING it may be because she lived with me as a high schooler - I'm sure that was no BOWL OF ICE CREAM!

I've been thinking a lot of legacies. The legacies passed down to us from our ancestors. Those we know/knew and those we only know through family history. It seems to me that I come from a family who is called upon to endure trials. There are many women in my family history who have endured harsh trials, both because of some one's use of agency and because of circumstances they lived in. My Grandmother was one of these women. I am so proud of the legacy she gave me of not being afraid of the darkness life sometimes offers. Some things I love to share about my Grandma are:

She stopped smoking after 50 years because Oregon raised the taxes on cigarettes and that ticked her off.

She went back to school after the early death of her husband and obtained not only her GED but a degree in bookkeeping/accounting.

She could make up her mind about something and you could not argue with her about it.

She was so worried I put too much product in my hair she asked her hair dresser about it.

She left home at 18 and traveled the almost 1,000 miles to work in San Diego. She did the electrical on airplanes during World War II-

She's our very own Rosie Riveter!

We have the picture below in our home of Grandma Wanda on her wedding day. It is gathered with other pictures of our parents and grandparents and is one of the first things you see as you enter our home.

I hope that I can share with my children the determined spirit my grandmother shares with me.

Project: Box Shelves

House to Home

Have you seen this post by Apartment Therapy almost a year ago? LOVE it! I think I'm obsessed with box shelves.

I decided I had to have some and started looking online. Wow these puppies are EXPENSIVE! J suggested we modified our current nightstands. GENIUS!

Do you remember going off to collage and buying these babies?

Image from KMART

Yeah we still have ours. I scrubbed them up, took out the shelves and added one to the end. Made sure to paint the unsightly particle board. I can't wait to see them over our bed!

foster: Update

We are now 79 days through the twins' 90 day trial home placement and have heard great things about Mom C's progress in the last 3 weeks. It is such a relief to know that things are going well.


Yesterday we told our RFC we were ready to be considered for placements again.

projects: Inspiration

I've been inspired-AND that means lots of work for my husband.

I really LOVE Jane Lockheart on HGTV. And this was my first bedroom inspiration. I LOVE the color on the wall-

Benjamin Moore Puritan Gray.

I had it mixed at Home Depot this weekend making the gallon just over $15 rather than the $40 at ACE.

And this was my second inspiration - found at ALL THINGS THRIFTY.

LOVE the yellow on the furniture.

Hopefully this will all come together this weekend and you can see what I've been working on!

foster: Introductions

We'd like to introduce you to Grace and Garrison (aka G and Lil G). In March of 2009 these two were our first placement. They went home to their loving parent August 13, 2009. Last week Gracie turned 9 and next week Gar Gar will be 3. I can hardly believe how time flies!

Gracie is so thoughtful and mature for her age. She acts like a little adult and has superb social awareness. I know that she will impact many people throughout her life and will be able to do so many things because of the wonderful gifts she has to share.

Garrison is all boy. He is obsessed with motorcycles. Even as a 20 months all he could talk about was Motorcycles Fas(t). He lights up a room with his ready smile and is eager to entertain a crowd.

(of course I don't have a picture of his smile-ugh)

We sure LOVE our G and Lil G!

All pictures posted with permision of Mom H.

foster: G and Lil G update

May is an incredibly hard month for me. I'm so glad I have little rays of sunshine (G and Lil G) born in May! They are such amazing kids and I really do admire their Mom H.

We sent G and Lil G birthday cards early this week. I was so surprised Thursday to get a call from Mom H thanking us for the cards and inviting us to Lunch Saturday afternoon. I'm so impressed with the challenges Mom H overcame and the success she has found.

G and Lil G sound so happy and healthy-living the childhood I hoped for them. It was so nice to talk to them I didn't even mind missing the last 15 minutes of BONES. We're sooo EXCITED to see them!

foster: The Easy Way?

I remember the first couple of Sundays we brought the girls to church we had SEVERAL people tell us "congratulations" and "it looks like you took the easy way." I'm assuming they thought we adopted. We kinda laughed and said "yeah the easy way-UNTIL we give them back" Someone please tell me what is easy about adoption? And if adoption isn't what they meant, someone please tell me what is so "easy" about fostering - twins? It really makes me think about school age kids. Nobody ever said things THAT STUPID when we had G and Lil G. BUTTTTT I know it's best to keep our options open....

foster: Countdown

For those of you wondering what's going on with foster care and our family-WE'RE ON HOLD. And holding stinks. We are 59 days through the twins 90 day trial home placement. 1 more month and and we can be active on the list again. In the mean time we've done some respite (over-night baby sitting for other foster families). It was great to see Little Boy and Little Girl for 3 days last month. Although we were happy when they went back to their foster (soon to be forever) family. We're taking a 6 year old and 8 year old tomorrow night and a 2 year old and 4 year old next weekend for 3 nights. That's the update! 31 days until we can have another placement.

Oh and the caseworker did help me find the addresses I needed. It took just 3 business days.

craft: Lamp Revamp

First I have to apologize for our bad photos. All we have are camera phones. Jason thinks I've gone a little crazy with the aqua paint I used on this mirror.

I wanted to establish the color in our room by repeating it 3 times. So I started with my hand me down lamp. Thinking I had a picture of the lamp I foolishly painted it without a before picture. Here's the after!



I'm still not sure I love it. BUT I AM in love with the Rustoleum Extra Cover spray paint . I was able to do both projects and still have paint left over.

foster: Pictures for the Mail

Today I'm getting pictures ready to send to the twins' parents. I can't believe they've been gone for almost 2 months! I'll be slaving away labeling the 30 decent pictures we decided to send to each parent. Any guess on how long it will take the caseworker to get me addresses?

craft: Adding Fabric to Mats

I wanted to add some of the color from my mirror through out the room. I've done this in several ways but today I'm only sharing my picture frames! I had 1/8 of a yard of cute fabric cut right before or right after G and Lil G came to stay with us. It's been floating around for a long while. Should I use it for this project or that project.... I decided to add it to 2 of my favorite pictures.

Our wedding photo.

My Mom's graduation picture. Isn't she BEAUTIFUL!

I love that the fabric sets these pictures apart form all of the other pictures we have in our front room-yes we have a lot!