fertility: Metformin

I've been taking Metformin for my insulin resistance.  When the nurse told me it might make me sick I brushed it off.  I rarely experience side effects, so imagine my surprise when I experienced almost EVERY side effect - nauseous, vomiting, (gas), light headed, dizzy, tired, headaches.  Today I double my dose and just want to cry.  How do people live their lives while feeling so sick???


NOTE: SEA BANDS are the answer.  110% better with sea band help today.   Choked down my pills today and put sea bands on right away.  I'm still light headed and dizzy-especially when I go too long without food-BUT I'm not throwing up and am able to work on projects today!!!!

fertility: Results

Ok for the record - HSG's aren't that bad!  At our last appointment the  nurse at the office asked if I wanted a lortab for the HSG.  I wasn't sure.  How much pain was I going to be in? I went home asking myself, "when was the last time I was in pain?"  "How high is my pain tolerance?"  I don't know.  I stressed over this for a week.  I talked about it to everyone who had a background in medicine and friends who have had an HSG.  I decided I could probably handle it.  In hindsight, I could TOTALLY handle it.   I feels a lot like menstrual cramps. Mostly it was uncomfortable. Sometimes it HURT but the pain didn't last long. After the appointment I could do everything I had planned for the day.  I know my experience isn't everyone's experience.  The thing I know is, trust your instinct.

The  HSG revealed that I'll need surgery to have my left side work properly.   We still have tests to do and cost analysis to weigh.

Blood work revealed some deficiencies.  Low Thyroid, and pre-diabetes (thanks Dad).  I'm on medications for those.

I've had people ask me ALOT- "If it's something easy to fix are you going to be sad/mad you didn't do this sooner." Until yesterday, these comments caused me to second guess myself.  Now I know the answer is no.  I knew that something was wrong, I knew it wasn't going to be an easy fix.  Again let's call it INSTINCT.  If we had had the word surgery come up 3 years ago I would have been completely overwhelmed.  And, if I can have a child with hormone correcting medications and only my right side working that's ok, too.  I know our road has been long and often painful and we still have a long way to go, but THIS is the time for us to do it.  It's not just knowing we can pay for it, it's a feeling that this is the right time.  Who knows why we've needed to wait so long?  I read someone's comment recently on a blog (sorry I don't know which one) talking about infertility.  It gave me peace.  She said:  "the older my son gets I realize it wasn't about me-It was ABOUT HIM.  His friends, his experiences, his life."  So I choose to believe that this trial isn't about me.  It's about my child.  The things he/she need to experience and accomplish have time tables.  How grateful I am for the time I was born, the good friends that carried me though my youth, and the experiences I've had BECAUSE of when I was born.

fertility: Going to the DR.

Receptionist: So when do you want to come in?

Me: What day in my cycle would the DR. like to see me?

Rec: Day 3.

Me: (nervous giggle)- He WANTS to see me on my period?

So, there I was, on day 3 and laying on the exam table. The news is good. No PCOS, and very little endometriosis.

Next week, I go in for an HSG and blood work.

fertility: I Think I Will thankyouverymuch

While helping a friend shop for blanket fabric for her unborn child I came across some I LOVED. She was sweet and encouraged me to pick it up for myself. I of course resisted unsure if I would ever have an infant. Next time I think I will, Second Sister Suaviloquy gave me permission.

foster: Update

Looking over our sidebar I was stuck on our placements. Could we really have fostered 13 children over the last 2 1/2 years? Really?! That is a TON. When we were training we were told the AVERAGE child's stay in foster care is 15-18 months. We are defiantly below the average.

Angel and Iron Man went home at the beginning of the month. The last 2 weeks of that placement could have gone better. But one thing I realized, it's not my job to be universally liked.

So here we are childless and taking a break. I think it will be a very long break. It's time to focus on J and me. No one else's drama aloud.

foster: Twins Update

We are so excited to watch the girls Monday and Wednesday night for just a few hours. We think they are just dolls. Iron Man and Angel look forward to their visit and we are all sad when they have to go. They are super busy and so grown up as they reach 1 year this week. Can you believe it?!

I sincerely wish their parents the best. When they are struggling, like they are now, it's hard for me to watch. We love our little S and A!

foster: Update

Hhmmm. where to start. Sleeping Beauty went back to her parent while we were on vacation the end of October. Iron Man (13) and Angel (5) came to stay with us for the weekend before we left on vacation. They're still here and they'll be with us through Christmas, but recent developments makes me think they will be with us longer than that.

project: Curtains

I found a fabulous deal on fabric so I revamped the "nursery" curtains.

Before:

After:

Simple rod pocket curtains that say GIRL! I don't mind switching them out if our next placement is a boy. Check out the cost breakdown.

Cost Breakdown
Fabric $12

foster: Money Breakdown

I mentioned in my last post that we spend more than we get to have foster children in our home. As foster parents in Utah we just got a pay cut to $14 a day for children under 12. That's about $420 a month. We do not have to pay for the child's health care, and are reimbursed for millage to and from case activity, and yes if the child meets age requirements we can sign up for WIC. Here's how the money breaks down in our home:

$90 For regular food in our house ($3/person/day including fruit/veggies/milk/WHOLE grain, of which we get the recommended amount for daily. NO malnourishment here thanks to home canning and food storage!) This, btw, is less then families receiving food stamps get per person/month. Many foster families are probably spending double on groceries and not eating rice and beans several times each month.
$30Extra for goldfish, juice, fruit leather ect.
$42 Mandatory spending on new clothes
$60 Diapers
$15 Wipes
$20 Toys
$50 Baby sitting, for dates, foster care training, court, family and team meetings

$307 Total

That leaves $113 to split between non case activity miles, entertainment, saving for birthday parties, Christmas, Easter baskets…. I know that the last few aren't necessary spending. BUT childhood is about going swimming, picking out pumpkins, and sledding in the snow. It's about waking up to an overflowing stocking on Christmas morning, hunting for Easter eggs, dressing up for Halloween, and having balloons and friends at your birthday party. Oh just for a minute, let's say we didn’t drive the child to anything other then visits and DR. appointments. Oh and we didn't do any of the other fun things associated with childhood, including Christmas presents, Halloween costumes or birthday parties. That means $113 is what the Giffords are getting "paid" to take care of someone elses child. Less then $4.00 a day. So, to those who complain that foster parents "do it for the money", here's the breakdown. What do you think? Is this what you expected, or are you surprised? How much will you pay someone to take care of your child when you go out with your handsome hubby or wonderful wife tonight?

Personally, I think the work foster parents do is pretty important. It's not about the money, or lack thereof. Right now it's about Sleeping Beauty, her health and well being. It's about her feeling safe and secure and stable. Someday I hope she can feel all of those things at home with her parents. But until then I'll provide her with every opportunity I can afford.

food: Beans and Rice

I know I haven't posted in a while. As I type my house smells like a Mexican Fiesta and I thought I'd share our penny pinching recipe.

As many of you know we are trying super hard to get out of debt so we can afford to have children sent to our family. We are putting every extra cent I can squeeze out of J's paycheck towards debt and we are soooo close! (In theory foster care should help with this but at the end of the day we spend her reimbursement check plus some of our surplus to have SB in the house.) Our food budget is about $3.00/person/day. This recipes costs about $1.50 for the WHOLE HUGE POT. That's mega nice for our budget.

1 lb of dried beans (we like pinto, black or red beans)
6 cups of water

The night before, usually after dinner while little ones are in the bath, I wash the beans and add them to a BIG pot with 6 cups of water. Soak overnight. Rinse the beans in the morning. While the beans are in the strainer add the following ingredients to the pot.

1 TBS olive oil
1 onion chopped
2-3 garlic cloves minced
2-3 stalks celery

Cook 3 to 4 minutes and add:

1 t salt
1/2 t garlic powder
3/4 t paprika
1/2 t black pepper
1/2 t onion powder
1 t Cayenne pepper
1/4 t oregano
1/4 t sage
1 t thyme
Red pepper flakes

Toast spices and then add the beans back to the pot with 6 cups of water. Simmer 2 1/2 hours. Drain off some of the liquid. Add finally chopped spinach to the beans and let wilt and become almost invisible (Always trying to bump up the nutrition.)

Night one:
Brown rice and beans with a little hot sauce and vinegar

Night Two:
Rice and bean burritos with lots of cheese and salsa

10 Lunches:
Rice and Bean burritos with lots of cheese, frozen and wrapped individually for quick grab and go.

We make this recipe at least 2x a month YUM!