foster: Update

Where to start? Cinderella left Monday, August 30th. Sleeping Beauty came Tuesday, August 31st, and has been with us for 2 weeks. They have one more kinship option to explore this week. She looks like I did as a child and except for her pale eyes could easily fit into my sisters' families. She's excitable, super friendly, and anything but shy (the exact opposite of me as a child). Sleeping Beauty turned 2 this summer and is so smart. Really she's a little Parrot that just talks and talks and talks and NEVER takes a break.

project: Stripes

Well, Cinderella will probably be leaving this week. She's a timid little girl and keeps to herself. BUT when the rare thing gets her excited she SQUEALS and flashes a full smile.

I finished the stripes just hours before Cinderella came.

Before

During
After

Cost break down:

$4 for frog tape.
Laser Level- We had hiding in the basement
Paint- left over SW paint pot from some random project

Total: $4

foster: New Placement

I was expecting 6 children and got 1 child yesterday. I've never done 1 before. Little girl, we'll call her Cinderella, is 18 months, and came with some creepy crawlies. We had a rough night tackling head lice. I don't think she likes me for taking away all her stuff to wash and smearing stinky stuff on her head. Poor girl. I'll make it up to her today.

Project: Stripes?

I'm thinking about adding some stripes to my house. Specifically horizontal stripes to one wall in my front room. Maybe some down the hallway too. Here's some inspiration.

Young House Love

Coastal Living


Sarah Richardson


Sarah Richardson

What do you think?

project: SO MANY PROJECTS

We got a call late yesterday afternoon that sent us scrabbling. 6 kids were coming into care at 10:00 this morning and they needed somewhere to land. I spent the remainder of the afternoon and evening calling for bunk beds, calling for benches (so we could squeeze 8 around our 4 person table), making grocery lists, worrying about car arrangements, and so on. Today, after their court hearing, the Judge gave the parents 3 more weeks to work on things WITHOUT taking the kids into custody.

Big exhale....

3 weeks to iron out the details of our lives before the possibility comes up again. This call brought to the forefront all of the projects I've been ignoring while we get out of debt. Parts of our house are a disaster. BIG. EMBARRASSING. DISASTERS. Things that could not be ignored if our house swelled to 8. Things like: the broken dishwasher, the leaking pipe under the sink in the basement bathroom, the missing tiles in the up stairs bathroom, the BACKYARD JUNGLE, and the list goes on and on and on. So my question is, can I tackle any of these with a couple of twenties? Any resources about plumbing, replacing sub floors, drywalling, tiling, etc that you have found helpful? Things I, E, can do myself - cause, let's face it, J is way too busy to help me figure these things out. AND projects that take no more then $50. Is this POSSIBLE?

project: Free Table

I found this table for FREE in the online classifieds. HURRAY!


A quick coat of red spay paint and it's sittin' pretty in my kitchen.

project: Bed Makeover

J found this headboard and foot board on KSL this winter. We had the girls with us and they were MAD when we went to look at it. After a QUICK look we decided to go for it and handed over our $20. You can't tell in our bad cell phone photos but it was pretty beat up. Here's the transformation

Primer

Krylon Bauhaus Gold. With black glaze. This was not pretty and not our style. WAY too orange.

Rustoleum Strawflower nice soft buttery yellow.

foster: Update

We are so lucky to be able to have continued contact with all 3 placements. We saw the twins a few weeks ago and they look so good, and BIG. For 6 1/2 month olds the are huge! I thought that they would be so different, but they're still "my girls". I was so happy to see S starting to push herself backwards. I really worried that the girls wouldn't get tummy time or the attention they needed because Mom C was trying to do so much by herself. To see S reach a developmental milestone gave me peace of mind that Mom and Dad can do this! Their permanency hearing is at the beginning of August.

Little Boy and Little Girl's permanency hearing has been pushed back. They are so attached to their foster parents and it's so good to see, especially Little Girl who was so resistant in our home. I hope the judge lets them stay where they are!

I'm sad we don't have a placement this summer. Last summer we were so busy with G and Lil G, and I really miss it. We are still waiting for the right call. This is the longest we've gone without a placement. We've received 2 calls from the adoption committee but neither were right for our family. It did cause a little crisis of faith in my abilities. I couldn't let go of the feeling of selfishness.

After our experience with Little Boy and Little Girl, I discovered how important it is for me to follow my instincts. I had to convince myself to take Little Boy and Little Girl and we eventually had them moved. I won't do that again. When I receive calls for children who have been severely abused, I know my capacity and skills will not be enough. When I say no, I instantly feel guilty. If I can't help abused children why am I doing foster care? Really, I don't know. I have to believe that there are more situations like G and Lil G or the twins where my capacity and skills can help, both the children and the parents. I do know that I love foster care. I love the children who have been in my home and I love the parents they have gone back to. I hope that I will have the opportunity to do it again. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

project: Bedroom

Well, I promised I wouldn't share any more bad cell phone pictures, but our good friend Anna couldn't wait. So here's our new, to us, bedroom.

I painted the walls Puritan Gray by Benjamin Moore, and our $20 headboard and foot board Strawflower by Rustoleum. I also hung our revamped nightstands above the bed for storage.

I found a chandelier perusing the free section of the classifieds and painted it black. Along with some $12 shades from JC Penny it works nicely above our bed. I LOVE our black and white "black out" curtains. They were a must have with the twins!

(I THINK the weird shadows on the walls are coming from the chandelier)

Last spring I painted our dresser black. I pulled the chair from the basement. Although, I'm thinking I may try to finish this one and put it up here instead. Unfortunately we couldn't squeeze a new TV into the budget, so we mounted a computer monitor and use a laptop to watch movies.

We're not done. I need to cover the cords, touch up paint, and find some fun art for the walls. Our room is small and cozy but for less then $100 I'm pretty happy with it.

foster: Responsible

I've subscribed to the blog Mama's On Call, and it's AWESOME! Loved the article "What Exactly IS A 'Responsible Parent" by Ellen Schrier. From it I gained this great guideline, "To be responsible means to respond appropriately." Here are some scenarios from her article.

What if … your 3-year-old has gotten hold of the pinking shears and is attempting to give her baby brother a hair cut? Should you let her? If you consider it for even a second you’ll realize that in order to respond appropriately you must say no and take away the sharp scissors before anyone gets hurt. She is unaware of the danger (or her limitations) and it’s your job to keep everyone safe.

What if … your eight-year-old is never hungry at dinner time because he likes to snack from the fridge throughout the day? It started years ago and has now become a habit. He seems to be growing okay and you hate to argue with him. Are you being responsible in letting the unsupervised grazing continue at the expense of eating a meal at the table with the family?

Well, just think: Is it part of your job as parent to make sure he gets his nutritional needs met? Yes, of course. Is it part of your job to teach him social skills and customs? Yes, again. So given your job description, what would the appropriate response be? It’s pretty obvious that you have to figure out a way to break the bad habit that has been established, right? That would be the responsible (appropriate, given your role as parent) thing to do.

What if … your seventh grader tells you that his science project is due tomorrow? He needs to get all the supplies and the project will take several hours to complete. He was given the assignment a couple weeks ago but ignored it. Now he is begging for your help. You know that his grade in science is hinging on whether he does well on this project. Should you cancel your own plans, roll up your sleeves, and get busy?

Well, consider for a moment — is it your job as parent to do your child’s work for him in order to keep moving things along or is it your job to help him learn about planning, making choices, managing his time and facing consequences even when they hurt? Once you make that determination you can figure out what kind of a response would be appropriate (and responsible), given your role.


Helpful right? This logic provides a formula I can use when working with Bio-Parents.

1. What is my role/job?
2. Based on my role/job what is the appropriate response.

The more I understand my role, the better I can respond in uncomfortable, even heated, situations.

This one liner is going in my repertoire.

To be responsible means to respond appropriately.