foster: Child Abuse

This was posted on KSL yesterday. It is this story about a 21 year old woman abusing her 7 year old daughter into a coma. The really sad part of the story is the child was in DCFS custody just 3 months ago.

How does something like this happen? How does this happen to a child the state has had their hands on? Whose fault is it? What can be done for this little girl? How can we stop it from happening to another child?

The answers are complex and have many facets to them. As I’ve mulled it over the last couple of days I don’t know that I have the answers. I felt a lot of ignorance and self righteousness portrayed in the comments associated with this article. AND THAT MADE ME ANGRY. The fault lies with the mother.

Who else may be feeling residual fault? The foster family that this child recently came from, they may be wondering if they could have said or done anything more to have prevented the child from leaving their home. The case worker who is over worked and underpaid. The therapist that thought the mother was ready. The judge who’s ultimate decision it was to send the 7 year old back home. Undoubtedly investigations will ensue to decide if any of these parties could or should have done more.

What can we do as tax payers, citizens and neighbors? Keep your eyes and ears open. Be aware and be willing to help. If you see a mother struggling, do something about it. Offer to be a safe place for her and her children. If you feel the child’s life is in danger contact DCFS and make them aware of a situation.

Also contact your legislature. Tell them that this is a problem. Tell them that the resent cut to the department is not going to prevent this from happening again. Tell them that social workers in Utah turn over EVERY 3 YEARS. Tell them that children in custody are important and deserve better from US. These children are not a liability. They are precious and important to our future. Look out for them, love them, and do something more to protect them.

YOU can make a difference in one child’s life if you stop making blanket judgments and start seeing individuals. Next time you see a troubled child do more than sequester your own children protectively behind you. Ask a loving Heavenly Father what you can do for that one child who needs more love, commitment, and understanding from us because he or she might not get it anywhere else.

I love SO You Think You Can Dance. This week's contemporary piece by Mia Michaels was powerful and moving.

Addiction can touch each of us. Its touch is not limited to the person and substance. Parents friends, children, drivers, can all be affected by one person's addiction. Many children are in the foster care system because of a parent's addiction. Their parents struggle to overcome and provide a better life for each child. I think this video posted on So Buttons gives such insight into the struggle many are encountering as they work to conquer their personal demons

Finished!

Many of you know that I've been completely involved in a huge project at work that ended up having the delivery date slip by over a month. It could be labeled as one of the biggest projects we've ever worked on and to top it off, our department of 2 was at half staff for a good portion of it. My cohort got hit with the swine flu, followed by a vacation. I had a couple sick days myself and barely managed to sneak away for the family reunion.

And even better, Mom and Dad were here for a good portion of that time and I ended up looking like a work-a-holic. I really missed being able to spend time with them and hope they'll come back soon when things aren't so crazy.

Last night, we decided to make the push and just get this project done. It took some effort but we got it out the door and running with minimal interruption and after a full day of monitoring, things seem to be going very smoothly. I can't tell you how glad we are to have it in production and to not be worrying how many other projects would have to slip because of it.

fun: StarFall

Love Love Love this site for Pre-preschoolers. Lil G will hear the keys typing on the computer and ask for "R, R, R, R." If you have a toddler - 1st grader check it out!

foster: Silence

I know that there has been a lot of silence on our blog. We've had a busy summer and I have lots of catching up to do- but that's not the reason I haven't posted. I haven't posted b/c I'm afraid of what will come out. There's been a lot of turmoil in my life lately- all centered around foster care.

We have been so blessed with this first placement. These children are sweet and everyone is working SOOOO hard to get them "home." Sometimes I just hurt for me. Sometimes I am just so frustrated. I'm not even old enough to have an 8 year old and here I am parenting an 8 year old who literally acts 12. All she wants in the world is to be home. And I'm here feeling like a high schooler who has been rejected to the big dance, all because G wants to be with her parent?! Come on E! At least 2x a day I say to myself "It's not about me." But there is a lot going on that is about me: my patience, my capacity, my frustration, my anger, my insecurity, my self image, my self worth.

Some days I feel hurt and rejected and some days I feel elated at the progress being made in their case. I ultimately want these children to go home. Why is that so hard to remember?