Friday, May 14, 2010
foster: The Easy Way?
I remember the first couple of Sundays we brought the girls to church we had SEVERAL people tell us "congratulations" and "it looks like you took the easy way." I'm assuming they thought we adopted. We kinda laughed and said "yeah the easy way-UNTIL we give them back" Someone please tell me what is easy about adoption? And if adoption isn't what they meant, someone please tell me what is so "easy" about fostering - twins? It really makes me think about school age kids. Nobody ever said things THAT STUPID when we had G and Lil G. BUTTTTT I know it's best to keep our options open....
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6 comments:
I don't know exactly what they meant but I can say that I was told that about having a c-section. It's like if people don't have children the "normal" way then they took the 'easy' way. yeah, 22hrs and 3hrs of pushing...definitly the easy way :P sorry people are so insensitive and don't even attempt to understand other's circumstances. I can tell you it's magnified in utah tho.....
It just shows ignorance on their part, really.
On a different note.... I love your guts!
I always joke that I want to write a book that is either called, "Why Did You Say That?" or "Shut Your Mouth!!!" If you want, you can be the co-author.:-) In the book I was thinking I would put all the dumb things I've been told and explain what they should have said or just kept their mouth shut! People are really insensitive, especially if they have never dealt with the issues you face. I wish I was there to give you a big hug. You and Jason are amazing!!!
Somehow I have never gotten that comment, at least not that I can remember. But I know alot of people that have had that said to them. I don't really think that(most of the time) people are trying to be mean. But they just aren't educated or experienced in the world of fostering or adoption. They really have no idea. Most people are wrapped up into their own little world and don't think about what other people may actually be feeling or how comments may make other people feel. And it is unfortunate that people don't take the time to learn about the world of adoption and fostering.
You know if someone had said that to me I may have actually hit them - well, and if I didn't hit them they would have gotten a tongue lashing. Since we have been married for sooo long and don't have any of "our own" kids people think they can ask about our sex life. I was told that I wouldn't really be a mom until after the adoption was final - what?! Our kids have lived with us for 14 months - I haven't been their mom that whole time? People really don't think about what they are saying. Jacob and I have talked about offering to coordinate a fireside to enlighten people about fostering. It is definitely not the "easy" way.
wait... you mean you didn't just put an unholy amount of money in a baby vending machine and get a healthy newborn, no strings attached? I thought that was how everyone who adopted got a baby...
Seriously, I got that a lot too. People are funny.
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