foster: Questions Answered

I received an email from a good friend requesting more details regarding our new situation. I realized many of you may have the same questions. (Or maybe I just flatter myself.) So, Megan, I hope you don’t mind if I respond publicly to your email.

1. Did you have notice that G and Lil G would be going home or did it happen suddenly? Yes and No. The caseworker gave me a heads up about 2 weeks prior to the court date. DCFS can make recommendations but the Judge is the one who makes decisions. Once the Judge gave us the proverbial “green light” we had 1 weekend (Saturday, Sunday) to pack up and say goodbye. The transition from our home to their home was nightmarish but we survived.

2. How are you feeling?
Mostly sad about the G’s. I found one of Lil G’s socks between the washer and dryer. I cried. School started yesterday. I thought of G. I cried. But over all I’m really REALLY busy.

3. How quick was the transition?
Quick. I got a call mid morning Tuesday. (The Gs went home early Monday) I almost said NO. I had so many projects I was really excited about and I knew these kids would need extra effort. But, the more I talked to the caseworker the better I felt. I met them around lunch time on Wednesday and they were dropped off 2 hours later.

4. How has this experience been different so far?
This is a good question for a private conversation. I will say it has been different in almost every way, except diapers. Both kids fit into Lil G’s diapers.

5. How has this experience changed your life? ( I took this to mean Foster Care on a whole)
Oh boy. There’s the normal parent stuff. No more eating on the couch. No privacy, even showers are interrupted. It’s now normal for me to stand up after Sacrament Meeting and make sure no Cheerios are sticking to my backside.

Today I cleaned poop off the toilet, bathroom floor and out of the bathtub, as my first attempt to potty train 2 children simultaneously ended with, me throwing up (several times), and Alyssa coming to my rescue.

But also my love for my husband has increased. My trust in my Heavenly Father tried and strengthened. My capacity for Love, Kindness, PATIENCE, and Understanding has been enlarged. Things I thought I could never do I have done. Most of the time I come off conqueror, sometimes I come off conquered (refer to earlier poop incident). I must say I am SOOO lucky to be surrounded by so many resources and AMAZING people.

Update: most people wonder if we'll be able to stay in contact with the 2 Gs. The answer is- Maybe. it's up to Mom but we remain hopeful!